Review: Difficult Women by Roxane Gay

This review first appeared on The Spinoff on 27 April 2017.

Roxane Gay is good at opening sentences. Examples from her first short story collection, Difficult Women: “The stone thrower lives in a glass house with his glass family.” “When I was a young girl, my husband’s father flew an air machine into the sun.” And my favourite: “We are having a heated debate about whether or not yogurt can expire when my husband suggests we stay together but see other people.”

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The Whole Intimate Mess

In June 2017 I published a short memoir about my experience in Parliament, becoming a mother, and then stepping down when it became too hard to combine my care responsibilities with my career. After leaving Parliament, I set myself a challenge to only read books by women for a year (which turned into two), and this was the starting point for this book.

I’m really excited to share it, thanks to the lovely team at Bridget Williams Books who encouraged me to write it and released it as part of their Texts series of short books by New Zealand writers. You can find out more and order it here.

Dear Mamas Episode 9 Transcript: Anxiety

In February 2016, Emily Writes and I started a parenting podcast called Dear Mamas. Our manifesto is no bullshit, no judgement, and we hope to build friendship, support and community. As of this episode, we are very excited to be part of The Spinoff family of podcasts, and we have a sponsor – Little Big Crate, delivering gorgeous threads for your little big person, right to your front door. You can subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or Stitcher, or listen on The Spinoff Parents. I’ll be posting transcripts of each episode here for anyone who’s unable to listen. Huge thanks to Mary Cronin for this transcript.

In this episode we discuss our experiences with anxiety, plus Emily has a best-selling book and a whole lot of speaking engagements, and Holly has some big news.

We mention Holly’s essay about anxiety, You Never Regret a Swim and our friend Leah McFall’s column in Sunday magazine. Emily has written often about mental health, most notably this post.

If you think you or someone else might be experiencing anxiety or depression, check out the resources at Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa, or take the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale. And don’t be like us and wait to ask for help!

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Dear Mamas Episode 8 Transcript: Disability and Chronic Illness

In February 2016, Emily Writes and I started a parenting podcast called Dear Mamas. Our manifesto is no bullshit, no judgement, and we hope to build friendship, support and community. As of this episode, we are very excited to be part of The Spinoff family of podcasts, and we have a sponsor – Little Big Crate, delivering gorgeous threads for your little big person, right to your front door. You can subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or Stitcher, or listen on The Spinoff Parents. I’ll be posting transcripts of each episode here for anyone who’s unable to listen. Huge thanks to @ninamingya for this transcript.

In this episode we discuss parenting through disability and chronic illness – both when your child is unwell, and when one of the parents is. We are joined by Tessa Prebble of The One in a Million Baby blog and podcast who shares her story, and that of her daughter Eva. If you haven’t already, go and subscribe to her podcast right now.

This episode includes discussion of the loss of a child, so please take care when listening/reading if you need to.

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Review: Commonwealth by Ann Patchett

This review was first published on The Spinoff on 5 December 2016.

It creeps up on you, this novel. It opens in 1964, at a christening party in suburban Los Angeles. Bert Cousins shows up uninvited with a big bottle of gin. The backyard is full of citrus trees groaning with oranges – the mixer. Everyone gets rather loose, and Bert unwisely kisses the hostess, Beverly Keating. Continue reading “Review: Commonwealth by Ann Patchett”

A whole good day: When parenting finally feels like you thought it would

This essay was originally published on The Spinoff on 29 November 2016.

On the day my daughter turned three, a man gave me a chopping board. It was a lovely chopping board, made from caramel-coloured blocks of recycled rimu that had been glued together and clamped in a vice. The man had made it himself. He brought it over to my house in the afternoon, along with a miniature Pinky bar for my daughter, Esther.

I met this man about five years ago, when I was first running for Parliament. He was the chair of the local peace group, and hosted a debate for the candidates. Later he became a dedicated campaign volunteer. He was kind and generous, and donated several of his chopping boards to fundraising auctions. After I left Parliament, earlier than I had planned, he asked if he could gift me one as a token of support and appreciation. It took me almost three years to follow up and accept his offer.

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Dear Mamas Episode 6 transcript: ECE

In February 2016, Emily Writes and I started a parenting podcast called Dear Mamas. Our manifesto is no bullshit, no judgement, and we hope to build friendship, support and community. As of this episode, we are very excited to be part of The Spinoff family of podcasts, and we have a sponsor – Little Big Crate, delivering gorgeous threads for your little big person, right to your front door. You can subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or Stitcher, or listen on The Spinoff Parents. I’ll be posting transcripts of each episode here for anyone who’s unable to listen. Huge thanks to @missashlynm for this transcript.

In this episode we explore the myriad of bewildering ECE options available for our children. Between us, we’ve just about tried them all, and we share our experiences good and bad. We’re joined by an experienced ECE teacher, Jo, who also shares her own experiences and answers all our questions and sets us at ease about our insecurities.

Continue reading “Dear Mamas Episode 6 transcript: ECE”